How To Rule At Saturday Night
- Refuse invitations to be social
- Watch Community for the hundredth time
- Go to bed at 8
- Sleep in denim shorts so as to break them in
- Wine on bedside table optional (but recommended)
Friday night. Home alone, drinking wine, chain smoking and listening to terrible music in a fur coat and ugg boots.
New low?
Healthy Ways To Deal With Break-Ups:
- Replace food with wine
- Failing that, replace food with cigarettes
- Start listening to Taylor Swift
- Identify with Taylor Swift lyrics
- Convince yourself you have feelings for friends of the opposite sex
- Send Facebook messages to ex-boyfriends at 11:00pm asking why they deleted you
- Start writing a terribly maudlin, self-indulgent attempt at a novel
A check in every box, yo.

It’s midnight on a Thursday, so obviously I’m smoking, drinking red and dyeing my hair.